In this hilarious Christmas classic, a couple struggling to put on a church Christmas pageant is faced with casting the Herdman kids – probably the most inventively awful kids in history. You won't believe the mayhem – and the fun – when the Herdmans collide head-on with the story of Christmas!

This delightful show is adapted from the bestselling Young Adult book and has become a holiday staple for groups across the United States. The crowd-pleasing comedy features plenty of great roles for children and adults, a few favorite Christmas Carols, and lots of laughs.

When: Saturday, September 20, 2025 at 8:30 AM

Where: Wylie Acting Group Theatre - 205 Industrial Ct Suite 200B, Wylie, TX 75098

Directions: Google Maps to Event Venue Apple Maps to Event Venue

By Barbara Robinson

Directed by Jason Sturgeon and Marc Taylor

• Please submit an audition form.
• All actors are required to audition with a monologue from the list below (should be memorized).
• If the character that you are interested in is not listed, please pick a similar character. We want you to show who you are!
• Please dress appropriately and expect to have your photo taken after you have signed in.
• Please do not bring props to the audition.
• The casting committee requests that you do not wear costumes or face paint.
• Some actors may be asked to read one or more sides provided during the audition.
• Printable Audition Notice

Questions: Email the Production Manager, Amanda Sturgeon at amandajsturgeon@gmail.com

Family Volunteer Expectations

Parent and family participation is a natural part of the community theatre experience. We expect each family to contribute approximately 20 hours to the production prior to performances (set building, work inside the theatre, show promotion, etc.) plus working before, during, or after most performances. Volunteer positions will be reviewed at the first rehearsal.

Rehearsals

• Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.
• The first rehearsal is Tuesday, September 23.
• Attendance by all the cast and crew at the first rehearsal is required and nonnegotiable.
• Generally, weekday rehearsals will be from 6:30 PM to 8:30 PM.
• An in-depth rehearsal schedule is provided at the first rehearsal.
• Additional rehearsals may be called, if needed.
• Rehearsals may be limited to small groups with various arrival and dismissal times.
• Rehearsal attendance is crucial, but no absences are allowed unless disclosed in registration form conflicts.
• Inability to attend rehearsals affects casting eligibility.

Performances

• Friday, December 5 @ 7:00 PM
• Saturday, December 6 @ 2:00 PM & 7:00 PM
• Sunday, December 7 @ 2:30 PM
• Friday, December 12 @ 7:00 PM
• Saturday, December 13 @ 2:00 PM & 7:00 PM
• Sunday, December 14 @ 2:30 PM

Available Roles

Roles open to ages 5 to adult.

• Father- Bob Bradley - adult (late 30s)
• Mother- Grace Bradley - adult (late 30s)
• Beth Bradley - child (10 - 11)
• Charlie Bradley - child (8 - 9)
• Ralph Herdman - child (12 - 13)
• Imogene Herdman - child (11 - 12)
• Leroy Herdman - child (10 - 11)
• Claude Herdman - child (9 - 10)
• Ollie Herdman - child (8 - 9)
• Gladys Herdman - child (7 - 8)
• Alice Wendelken - child (10 - 11)
• Helen Armstrong - adult (50ish)
• Irma Slocum - adult (35 - 60)
• Mrs. Clark - adult (35 - 60)
• Mrs. Clausing - adult (35 - 60)
• Edna McCarthy - adult (40s)
• Maxine - child (10 - 11)
• Elmer Hopkins - child (12 - 13)
• Hobie - child (9 - 10)
• David - child (8 - 9)
• Beverly - child (7 - 8)
• firemen - adult
• Shirley (baby angel) - child (5 - 6)
• Juanita (baby angel) - child (5 - 6)
• Doris (angel choir) - child (9 - 10)
• Rev. Hopkins - adult (40 - 50)

Audition Monologues

Adults (choose one)

Father- Bob Bradley (male): Well… that’s what they were…Mary and Joseph. They were refugees, in a way. They were a long way from home, didn’t have any place to stay, didn’t know anybody. They were probably cold and hungry and tired…and messy. Now…I’m going to push baby angels onstage, and I’m going to hand out shepherds’ crooks and then push them onstage. This script says… baby angels…shepherds…wise men…It doesn’t seem to say here where the fire engines come in. Just kidding!

Rev. Hopkins (male): I’ve been on the telephone all day, and I can’t make heads or tails of it. Some people say they set fire to the ladies’ room. Some people say they set fire to the kitchen. Vera Wendelken says all they do is talk about sex and underwear. The whole church is in an uproar. I don’t know…Jesus said, “Suffer the little children to come unto me,” but I’m not sure he meant the Herdmans. Grace, don’t you think we should cancel the pageant?

Mother- Grace Bradley (female): Now this won’t take very long if you all settle down…Today we’re going to decide who will play the main roles in our Christmas pageant, but of course everyone will have an important part to play. You know what Mrs. Armstrong always tells you- there are no small parts, only small actors. Isn’t that what Mrs. Armstrong always says? You don’t know what it means? Well…. It means that the littlest baby angel is just as important as Mary. Everyone is important…Mary, Jesus, and the short kids! Now, is everyone here?

Mrs. Armstrong (female): …Tell you again, Grace, how important it is to give everyone a chance. Here’s what I do- I always start with Mary and I tell them we must choose our Mary very carefully because Mary was the mother of Jesus… Yes, and then I tell them about Joseph, that he was God’s choice to be Jesus’ father. That’s how I explain that. Frankly I don’t ever spend much time on Joseph because it’s always Elmer Hopkins, and he knows all about Mary and Joseph…But I do explain about the wise men and the shepherds and how important they are. And I tell them, there are no small parts, only small actors.

Children (choose one)

Beth Bradley (female): – if interested in this role, you must choose this monologue. The Herdmans were the worst kids in the whole history of the world. They lied and stole and smoked cigars, even the girls, and talked dirty and cussed their teachers and took the name of the Lord in vain and set fire to Fred Shoemaker’s old broken-down tool house. There were six of them --- Ralph, Imogene, Leroy, Claude, Ollie and Gladys - and they went through the Woodrow Wilson school like those South American fish that strip your bones clean. They went around town the same way - stealing things and tearing things up and whamming kids…so it was hard to get away from them. There was only one safe place. When the Sunday school teacher asked what was his favorite thing about church, my little brother, Charlie, said, “No Herdmans.” That made the teacher mad because all the other kids said nice things about God and Jesus and good feelings. But old Charlie told the real truth -- No Herdmans!

Alice Wendelken (female): I don’t care what it is, she drinks it. I’ve seen her three times with her mouth all purple. They steal, too- if you shake the birthday bank, it doesn’t make a sound, because they stole all the pennies out of it. And every time you go in the ladies’ room the whole air is blue, and Imogene Herdman is sitting there in the Mary costume, smoking cigars! I wrote it all down for my mother and Reverend Hopkins and the Ladies Aid Society and anybody else who wants to know what happened when the whole Christmas pageant turns out to be a big mess!

Charlie (male): Hey, Leroy! You think it’s so great to steal my dessert every day and you know what? I don’t care if you steal my dessert! I’ll even give you my dessert. I get all the dessert I want in Sunday school. What kinds? All kinds. Chocolate cake and candy bars and cookies… and Twinkies and Big Wheels. We get refreshments all the time, all we want. And ice cream and doughnuts and cupcakes…. Who gives it to us? The minister. I think he’s rich.

Herdman boy (male): What’s a manger? Some kind of bed? When Gladys was a baby we put her in a bureau drawer. We had a bed…only Ollie was still in it and wouldn’t get out. He didn’t like Gladys, remember how you didn’t like Gladys, Ollie? And what were the wadded up clothes? It said in there…. She wrapped him in wadded up clothes. You mean they tied him up and put him in a feedbox? Where was the Child Welfare? The Child Welfare’s at our house every five minutes!